It's 11 PM. You're tired. You know you should put the phone down.
But your thumb keeps moving. One more scroll. One more video. One more article you don't even care about.
And somehow you end up watching a documentary about how they make bowling balls. And then suddenly it's midnight. 1 AM. And you're exhausted but also weirdly wired.
I've been there. So I looked into what's actually happening - why we do this, and what it's doing to us.
Here's what I found:
Your brain is tired but anxious. It wants to wind down but doesn't know how. So it reaches for the easiest distraction - your phone.
But scrolling before bed doesn't calm you. It actually makes everything worse.
Here's how:
Blue light suppresses melatonin. That's the hormone that tells your body it's time to sleep. When you stare at a screen, your brain thinks it's still daytime. So even when you finally put the phone down, your body doesn't get the signal to rest.
Your nervous system stays on alert. Every notification, headline, or video keeps you activated. You're tired, but you're not calm.
The next day, you're hungrier. Less sleep = higher cortisol (your stress hormone). Your body craves quick energy - sugar, carbs, whatever's easy. Notice it next time: on days you sleep poorly, you eat more without even realizing it. It's not willpower. It's science. (We'll dive deeper into this in a future edition.)
And the anxiety compounds. Poor sleep feeds anxiety. Anxiety makes it harder to sleep. And the cycle keeps going.
Long-term? It gets worse.
Chronic sleep deprivation affects your mood, memory, immune system, weight. You lose not just the hours scrolling - but the hours the next day feeling foggy, half-present, trying to catch up.
So how do you stop?
Not by willpower. You're tired - willpower doesn't work when you're exhausted.
You need a replacement. Something that actually calms your nervous system instead of just distracting it.
Try this: The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique
When you catch yourself reaching for your phone at night, do this instead:
5 - Name 5 things you can see (the ceiling, your lamp, the window, your blanket, the wall)
4 - Name 4 things you can feel (the pillow under your head, the sheets, your feet on the mattress, your breath)
3 - Name 3 things you can hear (the hum of the heater, a car outside, your own breathing)
2 - Name 2 things you can smell (your pillowcase, the air in the room - even if it's subtle)
1 - Name 1 thing you can taste (even if it's just the taste in your mouth)
What this does:
It pulls you out of your head and back into your body. It signals to your nervous system: "We're safe. We're here. We can rest."
It takes about 2 minutes. And it works because you're giving your brain something to do that actually calms it instead of stimulating it.
The other thing that helps:
Put your phone in another room. Not on your nightstand. Not under your pillow. Another room.
I know. It feels extreme. But if it's within reach, you'll reach for it.
I do this myself. And here's the bonus: in the morning, I have to actually get out of bed to turn off my alarm. No more snoozing half-awake while scrolling. You're up. You're moving. The day starts.
Make it slightly harder to scroll at night. Your tired brain will thank you.
You don't have to be perfect at this. Some nights you'll still scroll. That's fine.
But the nights you try this? You'll notice the difference.
Your brain will quiet. Your body will relax. And sleep will come easier.
Tonight, try it:
Phone in another room. 5-4-3-2-1 if your mind starts racing.
See what happens.
P.S. - If you haven't filled out the quick survey I sent, I'd really appreciate it. It helps me know what content to focus on so I'm actually sending you stuff you want to read. Takes 30 seconds.
Who in your life could use a pause today?