What actually helps when you're anxious

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I used to think I could think my way out of anxiety.

If I just reframed it. If I just focused on the positive. If I just calmed down.

But anxiety doesn't work that way.

You can't positive-think your way out of a nervous system that's convinced something's wrong.

Here's what doesn't help:

"Just think positive."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"Don't worry, be happy."

"It could be worse."

I've heard all of it. You probably have too.

And it doesn't work. Because anxiety isn't a thought problem you can fix with better thoughts.

It's a body problem. Your nervous system is stuck in alarm mode.

So I went looking for what actually works.

I explored online forums, YouTube videos, podcasts, books. I read hundreds of comments from people sharing what helps them in the moment.

Not theory. Not "just breathe" advice. Real strategies that real people use when anxiety hits.

Here's what I found.

What actually helps:

Turn down the heat. Open a window. Stand in front of a fan or AC vent.

Cold temperatures signal your nervous system to calm down. Multiple people said this was the fastest thing that worked for them.

One person keeps a bag of ice water in the fridge and holds it against their face when anxiety hits. Another splashes cold water on their face or takes a cold shower.

It sounds uncomfortable. But it works.

Dehydration makes anxiety worse. And chugging water forces you to pause and do something physical.

One person said they didn't realize how dehydrated they were until they started drinking a gallon of water a day. Their anxiety improved significantly.

Simple. But effective.

Anxiety is energy with nowhere to go. So give it somewhere.

Hold ice cubes. Scribble as hard as you can on paper. Clean something. Rearrange your furniture.

One person uses their non-dominant hand to brush their teeth or draw because it forces their brain to focus on something else.

Movement interrupts the spiral.

This one surprised me. But multiple people swear by it.

Sour candies (like Warheads), wasabi peas, or crunchy snacks redirect your brain through intense taste and texture.

One therapist even gives their clients sour candies for panic attacks because the strong sensation interrupts the anxiety response.

Pick a word and spell it backwards. Count backwards from 100 by 7s. Count how many blue objects are in the room.

It sounds silly. But it works because it forces your brain to focus on something concrete instead of spiraling.

One person plays "the floor is lava" like they did as a kid. Jumping around the room distracts and moves energy at the same time.

You've heard "just breathe" a thousand times. But here's the part they don't tell you:

It only works if you exhale longer than you inhale.

Breathe in for 4 counts. Breathe out for 6 counts.

The long exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the part that tells your body it's safe.

Singing, humming, or talking out loud vibrates your vocal cords, which massages the vagus nerve and helps you calm down.

One person sings in the shower when anxious. Another hums at work when they feel panic rising.

It focuses your breath and gives your body something to do.

Just sit down wherever you are. On the ground.

Multiple people said this helps them feel more grounded. Literally.

This one came up a lot. When anxiety hits, people clean their room, organize a drawer, do laundry, tackle a project.

One person said they can be having a panic attack at work, but if something urgent comes up, suddenly they have something else to focus on and the anxiety fades.

Action interrupts the freeze response.

Here's the truth:

Anxiety isn't weakness. It's not something you can just "get over."

It's your nervous system doing what it thinks it needs to do.

And you can't logic your way out of that.

But you can work with it.

What doesn't help:

Forcing yourself to be positive.

Pretending everything's fine.

Beating yourself up for feeling anxious.

What does help:

Cold. Water. Movement. Sour candies. Counting backwards. Singing. Sitting on the floor. Getting busy.

These aren't cures. They're tools.

And some days, the tools work better than others.

But they're real. They're practical. And they don't require you to pretend you're not struggling.

One more thing:

If your anxiety is constant, if it's interfering with your life, if it's more than you can manage alone—please talk to someone. A therapist. A doctor.

You don't have to carry this alone.

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